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Welcome to my world :)
6.09.2007

mst finally over le... but cant go out with my frenz or dear... coz my grandma is in the hospital... she's been in thr since wed but i cant go visit her coz of the tests... haix... everyone say she looking better le... wonder how she looked like few days ago... at least she can talk and joke le... but appetite still v small... so i help her eat finish her food... now hospital food is so much better le... still got duck meat de... she ate so little but still hv diarrhoea... v cham lor.. ever since she got diabetes, she alr become so small size le... this time oso slimmed down... v sad to see her lying there... cannot go anywhr and no tv to watch... and e atmosphere there is pretty depressing one lor... hopefully she can be discharged tmr... but hv to see her results on her kidney... mum say maybe hv to go for dialysis soon... cannot believe my grandma is having all this sickness... she is a v jovial person... and she's v active in mahjong de lor... her mahjong ka came to visit her yst... all still so strong la... wonders of mahjong...

feel that im hv no confidence for the mst... dunno isit i nv work hard or im juz plain dumb...watever it is... i will wait for the results to be out before i bother abt it...

well i realised i have a v relaxed feeling today... a v unusual feeling i would say... haven felt like this for ages... maybe bcoz i haven gotten a good rest since last year ba... juz watching shows and read some stuffs... haha... realised i can be a v boring girl too.... but i guess this will be the only day tt i can hv this feeling ba... not until i graduate le... sian

my sis got a new job le... might add up to almost twice her current pay... but dun think i can see her much ba.. coz she's gonna work London time... my dad asked me would i like to study overseas... but i really dunno wat i want now... i hv to make up my decision fast... coz i am graduating soon... e only thing keeping me from leaving is all the people ard me... im comfortable staying here... but another part of me tells me to go out and see the world... no matter wat... i've gotta try hard to get a scholarship... den my family will not need to suffer anymore le...

im trying hard to catch up with my frenz... been losing touch with many of them coz im too lazy... hopefully everything works out fine... and i guess im having some problems with the current one... we're drifting apart... the pooh family... the other 4 are so close now... and im left out once again... where ever i go, im always left out de... nv had one best fren for long... makes me feel like starting another life somewhere... if it is wasnt for my dear... haven gotten a chance to talk to him about it...

usually my emotions are written on my face... but its been hiding in me recently... i've not cried for a v long time... forever smiling in front of others... maybe i have matured or maybe i am becoming a hypocrite... whatever it is... i noe i am not happy now :(

smile 6/09/2007